I never liked translation, my English is not good enough for that, but I want to try (sorry, if it’s not funny after the translation):

“Once upon the time, there was a poor businessman. He was actually a very rich man, he owned a smallware shop right across the ¬†“Capital” cinema. He was happy selling underpants, laces, ties, buttons and other, small but very profitable, wares. One evening he returned home very upset. Without saying the word he went to the kitched, got himself a whole roasted chicken and slowly ate it all. After that he took the whole “Krakov”-style meat sausage(500 gramms), sat down and slowly ate it as well. His eyes was transfixed. When he reached for some boiled eggs his wife asked him with fear in her eyes:

-What happand, Boris?

-A disaster! – said Boris, eating the egg, which felt heavy and rubbery. They’ve legalized a new tax. You can not even ¬†imagine it.

-Why are you eating so much?

-I’m trying to relax, – said the businessman. – I’m afraid.

And the rest of the night he was walking back and forth in his rooms (and he had a lot of rooms, he had like eight wadrobes there) and ate. He ate everyting in the house. He was afraid.”

Ilf and Petrov, “The Golden Calf”, 1931.

Ah, yes, I’ve just got a bill for social taxes from Belgium.

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